Terri Rowley, LCSW

Hi! I am accepting new clients!

Why We Struggle in Relationships (And How to Fix It)

Ever found yourself randomly pushing buttons on a machine you have no clue how to fix? Flipping switches, unplugging and plugging it back in—hoping something just works? Now, what if I told you we sometimes do the same thing in our relationships?

We know something is off, but we don’t fully understand how to fix it. I’ve felt this firsthand—somewhere between tears of frustration and heated arguments, there was really just a deep desperation to connect. And after spending over 25 years working with children and families in the foster care system, I’ve seen just how much disrupted connections shape us.

As Gabor Maté says, “Safety is not the absence of threat; it is the presence of connection.” The way we bond with our first caregivers creates a blueprint for every relationship that follows.

So ask yourself:
• Do deep, emotional conversations make you pull away or shut down?
• Do you chase after love, desperate to be understood?
• Do you reject support the moment it’s offered?
• Ever been obsessed with someone, only to suddenly feel the ick?

This knowledge is life-changing. Understanding your patterns means you can stop reacting on autopilot—stop pushing random emotional buttons—and start showing up in your relationships with real intention and clarity.

Want deeper connections? It starts with knowing yourself first.